Counselling Implications in Inter-Religious Marriage

Counselling Implications in Inter-Religious Marriage

A couple named Adil and Anshika facing cultural and religious issues in their married life. Due to unresolved issues, they compelled to seek some professional help. They are together from childhood studied in the same school and residing close by. They fell in love with each other from their teenage and thought of spending life together. Both the families opposed their relationship due to difference in culture and religion but still, they got married against their families as soon as they finished their studies. After a year, they blessed with a baby boy and families accepted them too.

Through couple counselling, we got to know that she is very passionate, intelligent and ambitious about her career and used to work at a very reputed position in MNC. Out of 3 male siblings, he is the eldest in the family. He was very sincere, simple and down to earth person. He belongs to a very conservative Shia Muslim community, on the other hand, she is from an open-minded Hindu family.

Further during the Couple Counselling, we got to know that she had to leave her job after marriage as it was not favoured by in-laws even he didn’t support her. Within a couple of months of marriage, she realized that he is also very conservative. Her dressing sense was always a cause of conflict between them. Her mother-in-law had a problem with everything she does, from the way of doing a mundane activity to any important task. As both belong to different religions and follow different cultural activities this further led to adjustment problems as well as quarrels. His family didn’t allow her to follow religious activity like going to temple and worshipping God, they forced her to follow only their family religious rituals. He was busy settling his career because he was the main bread earner of the family meanwhile he ignored her as his main focus was on financial fulfilment. She was craving for his emotional support but he always made an excuse due to her habit of sarcasm as a result 5min conversation often leads to Tu-Tu Mai-Mai.

During the individual session with Anshika, we got to know that her parents had conflicted marriage. She had a stressful childhood. Her mother used to shout and scream. She was a bit controlling and she used to nag her on every small issue. She used to hit her and taunt her over every small mistake. So, the habit of sarcasm unconsciously was taken by her from mother.

During the individual session with Adil, we made him understand that she was getting into depression because of the regular conflict between the families especially due to their traditional thought process. We advised him, with all due respect to his culture he should help her to set some business to keep her occupied. We recommended him to shift on a separate floor so that she could get some personal space. His family should be more accommodative and he should positively try to maintain a balance between partner and parents. As this is not only impacting her but child too.

Counselling sessions made her realize the mistakes and she starts responding in spite of reacting. Both of them started spending quality time together and showing appreciation, affection and care towards each other.