In most of the cases, the partners find it difficult to indulge in a meaningful conversation. Couples fail to resolve their problems, and reaching a common ground of agreement gets difficult for them. The chief concern is that the couple doesn’t know how to listen patiently without giving a reply; rather most of them listen to provide a solution at an instance. It becomes vital for the couple to share their problems that they have not only from others but also from each other. What people don’t realize is that the more things you keep to yourself, the more bottled up your problems will become and it is quite essential that you share your problems at the very same moment, rather than delaying it. Because with time the intensity of the problem increases that further adds to the level of misunderstanding. A few reasons that lead to such misunderstandings can be:

  • Unrealistic Expectations

Every individual tends to have certain expectations from their partners and these impractical expectations can create a lot of troubles between the couple. Not just unrealistic expectation but many times what we might consider as realistic may not be considered as realistic by our partner. Thus, these unmet expectations are a huge relationship destroyer. When we expect anything from our partner, remember that they are individuals as well and everyone should work towards achieving goals for themselves rather than depending on the other.

  • No Me time

One of the most common ways in which people destroy their marriage is by not giving their partners space that they need. It is vital for the partners to learn the right balance of healthy togetherness and healthy separateness. What couples don’t realize is that the desire to have space has nothing to do with what your partner feels about you. When you don’t give your partner the space that they require, then the most likely outcome is that they are going to end up irritated. It is a misconception that people have the strongest relation when they spend most of their time together.

  • Pessimism

Ever since you were a kid, you were taught to, “Man up,” and, “Don’t cry,” just to accept the fact that bad things just happen in life. While this is good advice sometimes, your spouse also needs you to be an optimist. Your relationship will need to rally from all kinds of challenges, failures, hurt feelings and health problems. Your wife doesn’t need someone to tell her to stop crying; in fact what she needs is a shoulder to cry on.

It would be highly recommendable to seek professional help from a marriage counsellor if you are facing such issues in your marriage. The role of a marriage counsellor would be to help you with learning various techniques to manage your expectations, aid you to better focus on yourselves, even support in bringing the lacking optimism into your life or various other issues being faced during the relationship.

Dr Nisha Khanna as a Relationship/Marriage Counsellor proffers online, telephonically and face to face Counselling Services. If you are living in Delhi, India or any other part of the World, you can approach us through any of these mediums. For further details visit Bye Tense, or call us at +91-9312730331