This is a classic case of an NRI family coming to India to get their one and only son (Aman,28) married to a girl in India (Simran,27). The boy’s family is from London. Aman’s family came to India to visit Simran’s family to get to know them better. Both families were content with one another and decided to get their children married.

 When Aman came to India two months before the marriage, he denied meeting the girl or even getting married. The family tried to convince Aman, but he was adamant about his decision. Aman’s family then visited the clinic and shared their problem with her. They also mentioned that Aman had denied meeting or talking to any counsellor. Aman’s first cousin was very close to him; they grew up together in a joint family. Through him, I went for a home visit as a family friend and formed a rapport with Aman. They found a common topic to discuss, and then he agreed to meet us at the clinic.

When he visited the clinic and talked about the issues at hand, he mentioned that he does not want to get married to not just Simran but any girl, as he thinks he is gay. According to him, he is inclined more towards men. He also disclosed that he had already been visiting a psychologist regarding the same matter. In individual sessions with Aman, it was found that his parents fought a lot when he was a kid. His father is an adjusting person and does not have a powerful personality. He has never had a robust male role model throughout his life. The concept of Appreciation was not in the family, especially towards the man of their family.

Several individual counselling sessions took place. Many tasks were also performed as we asked him to form a close intimate scene in his imagination with both a man and a woman. The results of the invention showcased that it was easier for him to imagine himself with a woman than a man. After great introspection, Aman concluded that he was only confused about the whole situation and was not gay.

As the sessions continued, we discovered that Aman is an introvert with low self-esteem, and because of this, he thinks women won’t like him. His personality has been the same since he was in his young ages. He was under the impression that he would not be compatible with any woman. Due to the same reason, he has never had serious relationships with women. He had a brief period at the beginning of his twenties when he started having a crush on a woman, but due to all the confusion in his mind, he did not do anything about it. During the individual counselling sessions, we helped him to overcome his self-esteem and emotional problems. Presently, he is happily married and has a 6-year-old son.

As a Pre-marriage Counsellor/Psychologist, Dr Nisha Khanna proffers online, telephonically and face-to-face Counselling Services. If you live in Delhi, India or any other part of the World, you can approach us through any of these mediums. For further details, visit Bye Tense, or call us at +91-9818211474