This is a case study of an adult aged over 40 facing drastic & aggressive behavioral issues with his dear ones due to childhood abuse and neglect. Individual counseling sessions helped the person gain insight into the reason behind the behavior.

Deb (age 47) and his wife, Debolina (age 45), approached us with their marital issues. They had an arranged marriage and have been together for the past 17 years. Deb is a professor, and Debolina is a housewife. They have one son (age 15). They had the usual disagreements in their married life. By nature, Deb was a male chauvinist and a control freak. This trait frequently triggered fights with his wife and at his workplace.

Deb had just turned 47, but his frustration and dominance increased with age. The couple would get into constant fights; Deb was not only verbally abusive but sometimes physically, too. He would lose his cool or get into an aggressive mood if he was not given the upper hand or if someone was trying to cajole him. Deb was not hesitant with his negative behavior, even if it was a healthy joke that did not favor him. He resisted touch; he would get highly finicky and push off even a pat on his back. Since Debolina faced severe concerns about the increased unwarranted behavior of her husband and the growing hostility between the two, they sought professional help.

Deb opted for individual sessions because he was uncomfortable sharing his thoughts with his wife. During the session, for the first time in his life, he confessed that he experienced sexual abuse when he was just about 5 years old, and the abuse continued till the age of 7. The factor that exacerbated the emotional psyche of the young mind was the person who committed the abuse, in this case, his aunt. He was the 2nd son of his parents, and he could not voice out his concerns because of his age & he was too scared to do so. At that time, he further faced trauma when he was neglected by his parents, who did not stand by him despite repeated efforts. Every chance he waited to convince his family about what he was undergoing went in vain, and slowly, he leaped into an ocean of aggression.

Much to his surprise, he grew out to be an angry young man, developing an aversion to anyone who would disregard him or not agree with him. He would be very reactive if anyone tried to be physical with him. He confessed that the initial years of marriage were not good for him, but slowly, he learned to live with his wife.

After Deb spoke his heart out in individual Counselling sessions, we helped him understand and explain that he should let go of his past. We also made him realize that he wants more love and compassion from others. However, he is using the wrong coping strategies. He was insightful about how clearing his wound could make him live guilt-free and fearless. He learned to respond, be soft, and empathize with himself and his surroundings.

This case study gives us food for thought: When a person displays behavioral or temperamental issues, there is always a strong reason behind them.

So, there is always a strong reason why a person displays such assertive behavior. Therefore, child abuse, neglect, and unhealed emotional and physical wounds can leave a mark forever. Still, timely diagnosis or help can release the affected person and bring him or her to terms with life. Now, they are living a healthy married life.

As a psychologist/marriage Counselor, Dr. Nisha Khanna provides online, telephonic, and face-to-face counselling services. If you live in Delhi, India, or any other part of the World, you can approach us through any of these mediums. For further details, visit Bye Tense, or call us at +91-9312730331