Marriage is a complex relationship. Marriage is the greatest challenge for some, whereas others see marriage as learning to rear another generation. Napier said that marriage involves learning to allocate power separately or together, learning to play and to work together. The primary ingredients in the marriage are:

1. Commitment: Commitment to marriage means the degree to which a person intends to remain in the marital relationship. It provides personal, moral and structural reasons for staying married. It is central to marital stability and success. It is different from attachment. One can be attached to being married without being emotionally and faithfully committed to one’s partner. The extension involves the symbolic bonds between two persons because of shared beliefs, values, meaning and identity. For example, A man is bound to marriage by the security and social status of having a wife and children while maintaining a mistress subsequent with whom he shares an emotionally meaningful relationship.

2. Caring: Caring in marriage is the kind of emotional attachment that ties the partner together. Nothing is more important than treating your partner with care, consideration, empathy, and appreciation. Experience new things together. When you get the chance, it is ideal to compliment your partner to support their healthy self-esteem. Look for opportunities to tell them about their great work, good looks, loving heart and other positive attributes. The couple needs to show care and concern towards each other. Be kind by engaging in behaviour that acknowledges your partner’s wants and desires.

3. Communication: Communication is a tool for effectuating the relationship and working to strengthen it. It is the ability to share meanings verbally and non-verbally. The basis of any healthy communication is listening. In its absence, the partner may feel unheard, and rejection speeds up and invites a new set of troubles.

4. Expectations: Exceedingly high expectations can be hard to satisfy, and if we don’t adjust, we will continually disappoint. Disappointment, in turn, can lead to demotivation about building the relationship and raise concerns like whether marrying that person was the right decision or not. Positive expectations have their benefits. They allow us to think positively about our partner leading to better interactions and restoring better feelings and healthy relationships towards each other.

5. Handling Conflict: A lasting marriage results from a couple’s ability to resolve conflicts, disagreements, and hurt inevitably in any intimate and lasting relationship. For a healthy relationship, the need of it to actively listen or hear your partner understand what, why and how they feel. Be honest about your feelings and emotions. Be authentic because conflicts are an opportunity to connect with your partner deeply but not the end of a great relationship.

6. Find Joy: Healthy relationships are full of laughter and fun. It doesn’t mean you’re giddy every hour of the day—or that she doesn’t drive you up the wall sometimes—but it does mean that your life together is mostly happy in sometimes simple ways. (cooking together, making fun, pulling each others’ leg while talking.)

Dr Nisha Khanna is a Relationship Counsellor/Marriage Counsellor who proffers online, telephonically and face-to-face Counselling Services. If you are in Delhi, India or any other part of the World, you can approach us through any of these mediums. For details, visit Bye Tense, or call us at +91-9818211474