In simple words, “Burnout” happens when we feel exhausted and experience a lack of motivation due to prolonged stress related to loss of interest in things we used to love doing. Even though we relate it primarily to workplaces, it can also occur in romantic relationships.

Burnout in a romantic relationship happens when we feel we have tried our best to make the relationship work, but it still does not change according to our expectations. Then there is a sense of frustration towards the partner, feelings of stress and demotivation. The typical Signs of Relationship Burnout include: –

Don’t Find Your Partner Charming Anymore: The small, lovely gestures, like, opening the door for you or pulling the chair out for you at a restaurant, things that attracted you to the person in the first place, feel downright annoying now.

Have stopped Communicating with the Partner: Having an open conversation with the partner is the foundation of the relationship but when we are tired and so stressed out by trying to make the other person understand our viewpoints, then ultimately stop talking with the person altogether. This leads to nowhere except parting with the person.

Always Fighting: As everything the partner does feels annoying, picking up fights at the most nonsensical things becomes more accessible. For instance, you are arguing over why you make loud sounds of chewing while eating chips. Or why do you speak so loudly? Or why do you eat with your mouth open?

Coming Up with Excuses Not to Spend Time Together: When the relationship feels like a burden and the partner annoying, we seek ways to escape being with that person. Cancelling the dinner plans and spending extra hours in the office becomes a regular pattern.

Lack of Physical Intimacy: Sex lives might have their highs and lows in a relationship, but if there is a drastic decrease in the quality of sex, despite trying different things to reach that level again, it can’t be rationalised.

Talking about the Future makes you Feel Anxious: when in a relationship, it is inevitable not to plan, but whenever your partner tries to have a conversation about it and you have a cold foot, this could be a sign of burnout. For instance, if your partner starts talking about her cousin’s wedding and then directs towards the type of wedding she wants, while your heart rate is increasing as the conversation moves further, the anxiety might be due to relationship burnout.

Relationship Burnout will not go away after one day on its own; it must be dealt with. So, now the question arises, How to Overcome Relationship Burnout?

Work on Healing it Together, like a Team: As burnout is developed due to one or both partners putting in too much energy but getting little or nothing in return, both must agree to work mutually towards the betterment of the relationship. It is essential to have a mindset that it’s not about being against each other but to together fight against the problem.

Developing Rituals Together: Setting up rituals like having coffee in the morning or working out together can help redefine the relationship and create a sense of connection and stability.

Physical Intimacy: Being physically intimate with the partner can help to rekindle the passion, strengthen the bond, and rebuild the trust between you and your partner. Also, physical intimacy promotes the release of oxytocin which can lead to stronger connections and diminish negativity.

Communicate Freely about your Needs: Telling what you want is essential in a relationship. Hence, please list what you would like to change in the relationship and explain what you need from them. Also, give your partner a chance to speak about what they expect from you. Then work towards the same goal together.

Show Gratitude to each other: Giving and receiving compliments constantly boosts one’s mood, and in a relationship, it helps to reinforce your commitment towards each other. It acts as a reminder of why you are in the relationship. One way to do this is to maintain a gratitude journal, where you specifically write things you are genuinely grateful about being in this relationship.

Practice Self-Care: One of the significant reasons why relationship burnout occurs is because we become too engrossed in fulfilling our partner’s needs to the extent that we start neglecting our own needs. Therefore, to heal from Relationship Burnout, it is essential to schedule a “me time” and set healthy boundaries.

Thus, Relationship Burnout can happen to anyone at any anytime. What’s important is to understand that you need to stand together and fight against it.

Dr Nisha Khanna, a leading Mental Healthcare Professional, Psychologist, Relationship Counsellor, and Marriage and Family Counsellor, offers online, telephonically and face-to-face Counselling Services in Delhi. Suppose you are in Delhi, India or any other part of the World. In that case, you can approach us online (Via audio or Video Calls) and offline (on the premises) mediums for any issues related to relationships and abuse. For details, visit Bye Tense, or call us at +91-9818211474