Pre-Marital Counselling: How it helps?

An intimate relationship is considered a remarkable event in life. A famous proverb is Testing the water before the leap. Before getting further in the relationship, Pre-marital counselling is a need of the hour in the present scenario. It is a way to help couples prepare for marriage before moving ahead. Dr Nisha Khanna is a leading Pre-marital Counsellor in Delhi, NCR and India.

What is Pre-marital Counselling? 

Kepler (2015) defines pre-marital counselling as improving and enhancing pre-marriage relationships, leading to more happy and established marriages to avoid divorce. He reported that married persons who received pre-marital counselling rated their marital satisfaction higher than their counterparts who did not visit a relationship counsellor. Research says that couples with pre-marital counselling do not have complex concerns (Senediak, 1990) and exhibit gross effective inner growth (Stahmann, 2000).

Benefits of Pre-marriage Counselling 

Pre-marriage counselling allows the Couple to assess the potential causes that could hinder marital satisfaction and the duration of the relationship. People are allowed to discuss topics that would lead to the success of their relationship and minimize any roadblocks. A couple can include numerous aspects during pre-marriage therapy sessions like finances, beliefs, values, religion, roles and responsibilities, children, family planning, engagement in activities, quality time, and family relationships with parents and relatives of both individuals.

Yoo & Bartle (2012) suggested that Pre-marital Counselling implicit communication skills enhance a couple’s emotional stability and increase sexual intimacy, raising their marital satisfaction. Clark (1995) stated that there is a 40-50% chance of divorce among couples who do not visit pre-marriage counsellors. Similarly, Udofia et al. (2021) observed that pre-marriage counselling improves the quality of marriage and effect spills into intimacy, locus of control, and self-esteem.

How does a Pre-marital Counsellor help in Pre-marital Counselling?

Pre-marriage Counselling strengthens the relationship quality so that it might develop into a happy and long-lasting relationship. The goals of pre-marriage counselling include the following:

• Choosing the Right Partner 

It includes the anxiety and nervousness the individual experiences before taking the big step. Pre-marital counselling allows individuals to understand and identify the kind of partner they want and then helps them to choose between two or more potential partners.

• Relationship Experts assist in dealing with Pre-marital Jitters

Pre-marital jitters may also be present due to such confusion and indecision, making the individual even more nervous about not being able to make the right decision and thinking about its future consequences. Pre-marital jitters may also be due to commitment issues, mistrust in the relationship, and unsolved conflicts.

• Relationship Experts aid in assessing Compatibility between the Couple

Compatibility testing fulfils the objective of making the Couple understand their fit. It also helps us identify and work on temperamental and personality issues that may hinder the relationship, such as possessiveness, clinginess, avoidance, Etc.

• Relationship Counsellors help to Enhance the Couple’s Communication Skills

The need is to actively listen to their partner and provide a safe space to communicate whatever they have to. Effective communication will help the Couple disclose their feelings, needs, and inhibitions that may hinder the growth of the relationship or partner. Communication is verbal and non-verbal, too. Ineffective communication leads to misunderstandings and may breed mistrust in the relationship.

• Relationship Counsellors encourage Couples to Develop Conflict-Resolution Skills 

Diverging goals, needs, and motives gives rise to conflicts among partners. Such conflicts further induce stress and discomfort in the relationship. With every resolved conflict, the Couple experiences growth, deeper understanding, improved communication, and progress towards a stronger bond. However, the resolution must avoid another misunderstanding and synergically agree without pressure.

• Pre-marital Counsellor: Allow the Couple to Speak about Sensitive Topics 

A pre-marital counsellor like Dr Nisha Khanna helps to communicate openly over various topics, such as sex and intimacy, finances, family planning, household duties, religion, cultural beliefs, and practices. A proper discussion about these topics will help the Couple understand each other’s viewpoints, areas of concern, priorities, and expectations from others.

• Pre-marital Counsellors help people Understand that they are two Different Individuals besides being a Couple 

Along with working to understand, grow, and sustain as a couple, accepting themselves and their partners as individuals with divergent interests, attitudes, personalities, and needs is also crucial. Acknowledging another person as an individual enables the Couple to fulfil their personal and relationship needs.

Pre-marriage counselling may be considered a stepping-stone towards a decent marital life. Pre-marriage counselling allows couples to improve their relationship with their partner and build a strong foundation for marriage. Proper dialogue and exchange would ensure that the Couple is aware of their personal needs and interests, as well as of their partner, which further leads to the development of realistic goals for marriage and learning constructive conflict resolution skills.

Pre-marital counselling can have various costs depending on the provider and the length of the sessions. Some Psychologists may offer a few sessions altogether, while others may charge per session and person, or a Couple can choose the one that fits their budget. However, the potential benefits of pre-marital counselling can outweigh the costs by laying a solid foundation for a healthy and successful marriage.

Dr Nisha Khanna is a qualified, experienced, and trained Pre-marriage Counsellor/relationship Counsellor with 21+ years of experience and is a Senior Consultant – Counselling Psychologist at Panchsheel Enclave in New Delhi who offers online, telephonically and face-to-face Counselling Services. A person in Delhi, India or any other part of the World can approach us through any of these mediums. For details, visit Bye Tense or call us at +91–9818211474