Dr Nisha Khanna is a leading Best Relationship or Marriage Counsellor in Delhi, NCR and India who helps to Rebuild Trust in Relationships. We all know that Trust is fundamental to relationships. It takes time to build Trust, but rebuilding once it is raptured is hard. For some of you, the circumstance that could make you lose Trust in your partner would be infidelity. However, not only do the big things believe it; minor incidents can add to it. Breaking promises, not being there for your partner in times of need, lying or manipulating, and a pattern of not openly sharing feelings are some of the possibilities that can break Trust in a relationship.
Each of us has thoughts. Moreover, it is ok to keep them to yourself. Trust does not mean sharing everything that comes to mind with our partner. It also does not mean giving access to bank accounts, social media accounts, phones, and laptops. You would not mind sharing this information, especially in an emergency or need. The presence of Trust in your relationship means not checking up on your partner. Your faith in your partner allows you to talk out your concerns with each other openly.
The question now arises Could a relationship serve after infidelity? Building trust is a two-way process. When both partners are willing and ready to put in the effort to rebuild the relationship, the likelihood of its survival is maximum.
How can you rebuild your Trust after betrayal? Undoubtedly, you have been hurt and may be going through an upheaval of emotions, but once you have decided to work on the relationship and rebuild, you can follow the following steps.
1. Explore your Emotions – How do you feel about the situation? How deeply hurt are you? Why does betrayal hurt more to you? What do you need from your partner to rebuild the Trust? What are you further seeking from the relationship? As a person, it is essential to validate your feelings, ponder them, examine them and see how you want to improve them.
2. Communication – This may be an uncomfortable and crucial step towards rebuilding Trust in the relationship. One needs to express thoughts, feelings, and how one would like to take the relationship forward. During communication, allow your partner to talk and express overtly. Whether a person is regretful, apologetic or defensive and unwilling to own up to the betrayal? Knowing every detail of why your partner betrayed you does not help heal. Trust me, knowing all the details is not adequate for you. It is like putting a pebble in the mud stain that will come over your face.
3. Practice Forgiveness – If you decide to make the relationship work, you must forgive your partner. It may not be an easy process. You may have felt bouts of emotions, as healing cannot happen without forgiveness. Forgiving will not happen in a fortnight; it will take its time. There is a need to work towards it.
4. Stop Blaming Yourself – Remember, it is not always about you. Mostly it is because of upbringing, attachment style, past traumas, personality type, and many other reasons.
5. Avoid Dwelling in the Past – Do not let your past affect your present. Usually, you want to check the whereabouts of your partner to be sure of not lying to you again. But when you manifest a relationship another chance, trust your partner again. Understandably, you cannot trust them immediately, but you are implying that you will give Trust a chance to regrow.
How can you Rebuild Trust when you have hurt someone? You have hurt your partner, no matter what your reason was. The broken Trust may be beyond repair. But if you both have decided to work towards rebuilding a relationship, then these are a few steps you can follow.
1. Analyse Yourself – What caused you to betray your partner? Did you want to end the relationship but do not know how? Were there specific needs that were not being satisfied by your partner? Was it a mistake? You may want to say, “It just happened”, but that is not how it works when you have decided to rebuild Trust in the relationship.
2. Accept Your Mistake and Take Ownership – A sincere apology to your partner is a gesture to start the mending Process. While you confess, your partner may have many questions for you to answer. Patiently answer a few of them to their heart’s content and let their needs guide you in recovery. Empathise with their feelings and collectively take charge of working towards the relationship. Visit a Qualified Marriage Counsellor to address the same.
3. Open and Clear Communication – You must secure your partner from their insecurities. For example, coming home after work, you can call your partner to share your whereabouts. Both should reach a mutual understanding of clear and open communication. A Marriage Counsellor can help you in this process. Accepting that the ProProcessll Take Time – You may be eager to get your relationship back to normal despite this must understand and acknowledge that rebuilding Trust is a lengthy process. Don’t rush things. Be patient and give time to your partner to heal.
In the end, to move past this trauma, a steady diet of intimate conversations like talking about sex helps. You talk about your partner’s feelings, attitudes and preferences in bed.
It takes a lot to rebuild Trust in the relationship, but it is not impossible. One can always approach a professionally certified and qualified marriage counsellor to smoothen reProProcessthe relationship. Once you have decided that you both are willing to work out the relationship, be prepared that things will take time. By the resolution of it, you will see that you both will come out stronger than before.
Dr Nisha Khanna, as a Trained, Certified Marriage Counsellor and Qualified Relationship Counsellor, proffers Online, Telephonically and Face to Face Counselling Services. If you live in Delhi, India or any other part of the World, you can approach us through any of these mediums. For further details, visit Dr Nisha Khanna, or call us at +91-9818211474