This is a case of couple counselling where we helped Mr and Mrs Singh resolve their marital issues as their marriage was not consummated for 2 years. Rajeev (28) and Deepali (26) had an arranged marriage. Their marriage was fixed by a mutual relative.

During the individual history taking a session with the husband, it was observed that he had a performance anxiety issue, doubts and inhibitions. Even before getting married, he had such anxiety issues. He was also under stress due to his job. He thought getting married would give him the companionship and support he had been seeking. In turn, getting married added up more to his stress, for which he also reported to be suffering from severe depressive symptoms.

Rajeev is quite an introvert, who has never shared his issues much. He is also very sensitive and takes things to his heart. Rajeev did this marriage just for the sake of parents. He wanted to do love marriage but both families didn’t agree n they both parted away. He reports that the level of stress and his depression started to make him feel unhappy n he was unable to maintain the balance due to past. He was struggling through this phase and mentioned that it decreased his motivation to do anything. He rarely spent time with his wife. Last but not least, he even commented that instead of his wife supporting him, she started cribbing which resulted in a rift between them.

In the individual history taking sessions with the wife, she complained of having regular fights with her husband as well her in-laws. She added that she had a job before marriage and now she has to stay at home as a homemaker. She had been brought up in a family where the maids looked after the household chores and she never stayed at home. She is not even aware of how to cook or manage any household chores. Learning and adjusting will take time, she claimed. She even pointed out that her husband is not very adventurous as she wanted him to be; he has inhibitions to take a risk or to try anything new.

Deepali never had any relationship before getting married. Her exposure to sexual intimacy was quite new n both are shy by nature. Rajeev is low in confidence where Deepali is fearful n experiencing pain during physical. While during sexual intimacy, whenever she complained about pain, Ranveer’s confidence shooked badly n he used to withdraw himself n turned off.

With the help of counselling, Rajeev overcame his negative thoughts and has adapted towards a positive way of thinking. We also made them open up to explore new things and take risks, and encouraged him to even think of the new venture which he was afraid of getting into. On the other hand, Deepali was helped to establish a better means of communication, helping her respond logically without cribbing, along with to think positive n open about sexual pleasures. With time, their sexual life became normal n regular.

The couple was also provided with an insight of each other’s personality and support in developing a better understanding between them. They were also helped to be appreciative towards each other and to socialise and spend quality time together. Now they are happy with their marriage and are blessed with two lovely kids.

Dr Nisha Khanna as a Relationship/Marriage Counsellor proffers online, telephonically and face to face Counselling Services. If you are living in Delhi, India or any other part of World, you can approach us through any of these mediums. For further details visit Bye Tense, or call us at +91-9312730331