Mate-swapping is a practice wherein a couple indulges in polygamous activities. It involves partners, in an agreement, engaging in sexual activity with another couple(s) for recreational purposes. This phenomenon is not new to society and has existed for a long time. 

The origins of this culture of swapping partners were in the 16th century. The 18th century saw mainly European and American intellectuals engage in couple-swapping. In the 20th century, however, the phenomenon became more widespread. The 1950s era was when Air Force Officers in the USA would swap wives. In India, however, this practice has been despised and frowned upon in post-colonialism. In recent times, though, swinging has been quite widespread. Sex is not seen as taboo anymore and doesn’t raise the eyebrows it used to anymore. Believe it or not, no law criminalizes wife-swapping or even couple-swapping.

While the Indian subcontinent is called sexually inexperienced, or people here have limited exposure to this area. But one search will lead to thousands of articles about mate-swapping in the country. These range from towns to cities such as Surat and Gujarat to metropolitans such as Delhi and Mumbai. Cities across the country have couple-swapping clubs that are invitation-based. These involve registering oneself on websites and eventually becoming a part of clubs. In an interview with GQ Magazine, a Mumbai-based hotel manager revealed his experience with a Kolkata couple engaged in swapping.

As simple as it sounds, registering is not all. The whole process of swinging is an elaborate one. It involves lunches wherein set rules are set, such as their venue getting booked and disclosed two days before the event. The better halves get gradually introduced to the activity. This intricate plan is devised solely for “spicing up” a relationship. Couple-swapping could have several reasons. Few used it as a marital aid in hopes of improving the relationship. It is essentially a way to cheat or be unfaithful with consent. Hence, it intrigues the minds of many. Sometimes, it could simply be to switch up one’s sexual life by adding variety. 

Swapping, like any other practice, has its pros and cons. As a sexual vent, it is very helpful in aiding a marriage sexually. New sexual experiences add to the sexual satisfaction of both sides of a relationship. It also initiates an honest and open conversation around sex and fantasies. The practice can strengthen the bond through open sexual discussions and expression. However, there are several drawbacks to mate-swapping. For starters, health risks can be significant. Sexually Transmitted Diseases and the risk of HIV can increase by indulging in sexual activity involving several partners. However, the detailed planning and time into couple-swapping can also lower sexual arousal. It kills the whole mood and newness of the event ahead of time. 

King (1996) observed changes in interaction with partners due to sexual habituation. He noticed an increase in the stimulation to produce the sexual excitation previously obtained by a glance or simple touch from 3 to 7 years in a marriage. Couple swapping is a pathway to sexual variety, excitement, adventure, and the opportunity to live out fantasies as a couple without secrecy and deceit. Partners receptive to couple swinging explore new erotic avenues of shared sexual fulfillment to grow together. Couples who reconnect physically and emotionally are more likely to endure this period. Moving on to the psychological effects of Couple swapping, I observed as a Marriage Counsellor that during Couple Consultation, self-esteem does take a big hit when it comes to being polygamous, in the case of women especially. 

Shepard (2013) reported a higher prevalence of somatization, depression, anxiety, hostility, paranoid ideation, psychotic symptoms, and psychiatric disorders like general symptom severity (GSI) in polygamous women as compared to monogamous women. The decrease in life and marital satisfaction, problematic family functioning, and low self-esteem were common among them. It further leads to infidelity, and as a result, the divorce rate peaks. Partner-swapping has been a common phenomenon with voyeurism. However, we try hard to keep this concept under wraps; it does find its outlet somewhere or somehow. You can see swigging in the highly searched category of porn websites. It is on account of the taboo and is a Forbidden Fruit Effect. 

Dr Nisha Khanna is a leading Mental Healthcare Professional with two decades+ of experience as a Psychologist. She is among the best marriage and family counselors in Delhi and India. She proffers online, telephonic, and face-to-face counseling services. If you are in Delhi, India, or any other part of the World, you can approach us through any of these mediums. For further, visit Bye Tense or call us at +91-9818211474