Marriage is full of paradoxes. It is much easier to get into than to get out of it. It is also a risky venture, with roughly a 50% chance of divorce. Communication Breakdown, Infidelity, Frequent Arguments, Financial Concerns, Lack of commitment, Lack of Physical and Emotional Intimacy, and Incompatibility are the significant reasons for differences in a couple. However, every marriage is unique, and the grounds for divorce differ from couple to couple.

Yet most people want to get married without thinking about it much. They assume their marriage will last a lifetime. However, only some couples prepare themselves in any meaningful way for marriage. Many personal and social factors increase the likelihood of a successful marriage.

Other factors contributing to a successful marriage include shared values, goals, interests, conflict resolution skills, emotional intelligence, physical and emotional intimacy, trust, mutual respect, and appreciation. Tips for a happy and successful marriage/intimate relationship are as follows:

Independence and Maturity:

Independent and mature people can develop intimate relationships that are interdependent and emotionally and physically close. Each Partner can take care of themselves, come together as equals, and build a strong foundation for their relationship. An independent and mature person is confident enough to say no and not afraid to be alone. A mature person can stick to the other and let go of the negative feelings even in tough times. Independent and mature people can express their needs honestly and assertively and respond unselfishly to each other’s needs; such couples are more likely to be friends and lovers.

Self-Esteem:

Self-esteem is crucial in an intimate relationship or marriage. A person with high self-esteem won’t feel intimidated by their Partner’s success. People with high self-worth feel secure, self-confident, quick decision makers, and resilient. They know their strengths and weaknesses before they honestly give love to one another. They love themselves. Research by Todd (2021) observed that wives’ sexual infidelity correlated with husbands’ self-esteem, and Husbands’ insults to wives’ physical attractiveness were associated with women’s self-esteem. 

Separateness and Togetherness:

To balance the separateness and togetherness that an intimate relationship/marriage requires, people must enjoy separate activities, time with friends, and time apart. Time apart reminds partners of the value of the relationship. Enmeshment (too much into each other) and disengagement (not being aware of each other) are unhealthy for a relationship. Healthy separateness and togetherness by spending quality time together is good enough for a healthy marriage. To be connected, a couple can keep the romance alive with date nights and other unique gestures. Too much togetherness also leads to negative behaviors, such as possessiveness, codependency, and the need to control the Partner.

Stable and Satisfying Occupation:

A stable profession leads to financial and emotional security. According to research, work is the primary reason for happiness and satisfaction in one’s personal and professional life. The more significant the stress at work, the less positive energy there is for a marriage/ intimate relationship.

Strengths and Weaknesses:

Both individuals know themselves, objectively evaluate and acknowledge strengths and weaknesses, and do not blame their problems on others. They must also understand what they can give to a partner. Taking accountability and responsibility and saying no or sorry is required for a healthy relationship. Openness and honesty are a must between the partners.

Assertiveness:

Expressing oneself directly and generally positively is critical to a successful marriage or intimate relationship. A couple have quality time for each other to show affection and appreciation. Share your goals and dreams. Partners lacking assertiveness in their communication often adopt a passive/aggressive approach.

Friendship as well as Love:

When people focus on their lover’s needs, they find that the loved one tends to focus on their own needs. Be supportive through good and bad times. Find time for intimacy, care, and physical affection. Non-possessive caring encourages the partners to grow and reach their potential.

Forgiveness:

Do not hold grudges or keep score. Mistakes are part and parcel of human personality. Forgive the Partner when mistakes happen. Focus on creating a present to move further in a relationship; it will help you let it go and help you to live in the present.

Resolve Conflict:

Do not let conflicts escalate into fights; learn how to resolve issues healthily. Often, refer to the ” I “statement while referring to your feelings. Empathy is the key to resolving conflict. Listen to the Partner and try to understand their perspective. Respect each other’s individuality and personal space. Partners’ willingness to compromise and solve problems is required.

Marriage Counselling:

Some signs that indicate a couple needs to approach a marriage counselor include

  • Feeling stuck in Negative Patterns
  • Unable to maintain Daily Routine due to Quarrels and
  • Feeling hopeless about the Future of the Relationship
  • Having Suffocation in a Relationship
  • Unhappiness in Marriage Impacting Your Mood
  • Life revolves around the Partner only

Marriage counseling helps couples constructively accept negative emotions and positively navigate feelings. Counselors also provide tips for staying committed to each other to build a strong, loving marriage that lasts a lifetime.

A couple should be quick to approach a professional marriage counselor when they cannot resolve, understand, or deal with marital issues on their own. Sometimes, a person needs to put more effort into their marriage. A professional marriage counselor may simplify the process by innovatively guiding you through the most straightforward steps.

Some personal and social factors that increase the likelihood of a successful marriage include shared values, goals, interests, emotional intelligence, physical and emotional intimacy, trust, mutual respect, and gratitude. 

As a Relationship Expert/Marriage Counsellor, Dr Nisha Khanna provides online, telephone, and face-to-face counselling services. If you live in Delhi, India, or any other part of the World, you can approach us through any of these mediums. For further details, visit Bye Tense or call us at +91-9818211474