When we start seeing somebody we set certain expectations from them. Many time problems arise not due to expectations but due to the unrealistic expectations that we have. Always wondering that the relationship will be a bed of roses is very unlikely. Many times people enter into relationships with unrealistic expectations which lead to a lot of struggles and disappointments.

1. When two people begin to spend a lot of time together, fights are bound to take place. No relationship is ever free of disagreements and arguments. It is very vital for people to understand that fights are not as important as compared to the frequency of those fights. If a couple fights once every week then it is considered to be quite normal but if a couple is fights every second day then it becomes problematic. Many times couples during fights use harsh words or tend to get angry. Thus it becomes essential for the couple to not be very sensitive towards such behaviour.

2. Many times couples tend to have an unrealistic expectation that their partner should be emotionally available 24×7. But it is essential to understand that rather than being emotionally needy on your partner it is essential that your partner should be emotionally there for you in the hour of need. Sometimes when you feel low expecting your partner to be around all day is not feasible. Due to the busy work schedule, making effort by calling and messaging you from his office is also a form of support. It is essential to understand that emotional support can be lend in various ways just because we expect them to behave in a particular manner is not very convenient.

3. Communication is the foundation for every relation. It is completely realistic to expect to share feelings and thoughts with your partner. But a couple should understand that many times people share their feelings not to seek solutions or to get a reply but just to pour their heart out. Every couple should provide their partners with an empathetic air where they can freely express their emotions. It is essential for every couple to understand and corporate the art of active listening and hearing.

4.  People often tend to think, that the more time they spend together their relationship will turn for better. Consider a couple who spends 3 hours together every day is busy in their own work and phone how this time will actually add to your relationship for the better. On the other hand, couples should spend quality time together rather than the quantity of time. A couple who spends even 30 to 40 minutes together every day without focusing on anything else will actually help to make their relationship healthy.

5.  Couples need to understand that it is completely realistic to have“Me” time. Before being a couple your partner is an individual who should and can focus on himself. It is completely healthy for a person to have at least 5-6 hours of “Me” time in a week. It is essential to understand that space is required by every individual in order to rejuvenate them. Only when a person is happy and contended with oneself then can make others around happy too.

6.  Verbal expression of emotions is one of the ways in which you can express yourself. Emotions can be expressed in both the verbal and non-verbal way. Just expecting that your partner should express themselves in a way that you expect them to be is not very healthy. It is essential to understand that just because you’re very vocal at expressing your feelings wouldn’t mean that so is your partner. Appreciate small efforts that your partner does rather than cribbing about what he doesn’t do. It is impractical to expect your partner to read your mind and function according to that. It becomes imperative to tell your partner about what you expect from them.

7.  We at times tend to compare our partners with other individuals which are completely impractical. This mainly happens due to unfulfilled desires of oneself or the desire to put you in higher stature in society. Many times we criticize or say things in a very sarcastic manner to our partner in order to get things. Expecting your partner to fulfil all your desires are very unrealistic just because other people have it, you can’t force your partner for the same. Every individual has their own goals and ambitions rather than expecting your partner to do it you can make efforts to achieve things for yourself.

It is crucial to understand that no couple will expect exact same things from each other. Problems arise because we assume idealistic things from each other which will obviously lead to frustration and disappointment. If a couple still continues to find it difficult dealing with the situation or problem, It is always advisable to take help from a professional marriage counsellor or a relationship expert.

Dr Nisha Khanna as a Marriage Counsellor proffers online, telephonically and face to face Counselling Services. If you are living in Delhi, India or any other part of the World, you can approach us through any of these mediums. For further details visit Bye Tense, or call us at +91-9312730331